Welcome

I’m Zena, a relational parenting and nervous system coach supporting parents raising children impacted by trauma and neurodivergence.

I also live this work.

I’m parenting an awesome child with a vulnerable nervous system, and there are seasons when we are in the trenches too.

I understand the spectrum of what complex behaviours can bring: unpredictability, confusion, dysregulation, exhaustion, grief, isolation.

The reality of life when nervous systems are stretched beyond capacity.

“Compassion is the neurobiology of change” Robyn Gobbel

I support families navigating

Neurodivergence.

Any history of trauma, including experiences during pregnancy or birth, early attachment disruptions such as foster or adoptive care, developmental or medical stress, socioeconomic hardship, displacement, school related trauma, or the cumulative impact of toxic stress.

Chronic illness, immune-compromised conditions and ongoing health stress.

PANS and PANDAS.

All parts of you are welcome

Especially the messy parts.

The resentful, overwhelmed, angry, grieving, and exhausted ones.

You will never be expected to be a perfect parent or remain calm through chaos. That is not the goal. It is not realistic.

This work begins with being, not doing. With learning to accept our full humanity with compassion.

Perfection is not the goal. Support is.

With the right support, your window of tolerance can widen. Capacity can grow. Different responses can become possible over time.

My Training

I trained through Robyn Gobbel’s Baffling Behaviour Institute and I am a graduate of the Professional Immersion Programme. I am also licensed to teach the Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviours Parenting Course.

This work is grounded in Interpersonal Neurobiology, Attachment Theory, Polyvagal Theory, Relational Science, and Social Baseline Theory.

I also bring counselling skills and I am Internal Family Systems informed.

How my training supports you

Alongside my lived experience, my training allows me to offer a steady, science based, compassionate lens for understanding what is happening in your nervous system and your child’s.

We begin by making sense of what sits beneath your child’s behaviours and your reactions to them. As clarity replaces confusion, confidence grows. When you feel clearer, your child begins to experience more safety through you.

Part of our work is gently widening your window of tolerance and building your capacity to stay present with your child’s dysregulation in ways that feel steadier and more manageable.

From there, we introduce practical tools and strategies that support regulation in the brain, body and sensory system, strengthening both of your capacities to handle stress and return to connection.

Our work is rooted in co-regulation, presence and attunement, within a safe, confidential space where you are not judged or blamed.

How this approach differs

I believe your experience. I have no agenda for you other than to meet you exactly where you are. This is not another thing for you to prove, perform, or get right.

This is not about fixing you or your child.

We move gradually away from conventional behavioural training and towards relational awareness, led by compassion and curiosity. Rather than focusing on managing or correcting behaviour, we listen for what behaviour is communicating and what support is needed beneath it, for both children and parents.

This work reflects what many parents are already beginning to sense. Lasting change does not come from more pressure or control. It grows from understanding, regulation, and relationship.

What our work may look like

Sessions are 1 to 1.5 hours and take place online via Zoom. You are welcome to get comfortable, avoid eye contact, and show up exactly as you are.

Sessions may include deep listening, gentle exploration, or direct education about brain and nervous system science using simple, parent and child friendly language and metaphors. I can also offer practical resources. We are always guided by what feels most supportive for you in the moment.

Why this work matters

I hold a deep conviction in this way of working and I am committed to sharing relational science with families who need it. I have experienced its life changing impact firsthand and seen the profound difference Robyn Gobbel’s teaching and training continue to make for families and professionals around the world.

There is real hope here.

Not the hope of quick fixes, but the steady kind that comes from understanding the nervous system and gently reshaping patterns over time. The kind of hope that grows as safety grows.

Parenting vulnerable children is monumentally hard. You were never meant to do it alone.

“I can’t imagine more meaningful work than being one who nurtures the nurturers.“

Bonnie Badenoch

“How we see people, changes people'“

Robyn Gobbel

Questions

It makes sense to have questions. Parenting a child with complex behaviours can leave you doubting your instincts and wondering if this will actually help.

Your questions are welcome here, if you have more, please feel free to contact me.

  • If you are living this, you already know how hard it can be.

    At its core, this is often about a nervous system that becomes overwhelmed easily. When a child’s stress response is sensitised, everyday demands can feel like threats. In those moments, survival takes priority over reasoning, and capacity shrinks.

    This is grounded in neuroscience, not opinion. And when you understand it, things start to make sense.

    It often shows up in ordinary moments.

    Getting dressed.
    Leaving the house.
    Transitions.
    Mealtimes.
    Bedtime.

    From the outside, this behaviour looks like ‘won’t’.

    Avoidance.
    Refusal.
    Rigidity.
    Control.
    Big reactions.
    Endless looping.
    Difficulty hearing no.

    You may have been told your child is defiant, anxious, too sensitive, or too much.

    But from the inside, it is often ‘can’t’.

    When a child feels overwhelmed, the thinking part of the brain becomes less available. Skills they can use when calm may disappear under stress. This is not manipulation. It is state dependent capacity.

    Some children may struggle with sleep or separation.
    Busy places, new environments, and even excitement can tip the system into overload.

    They may find it hard to recognise internal cues like hunger, tiredness, or the need for space, which makes regulation even harder.

    This is not misbehaviour.
    It is not laziness.
    And it is not a parenting failure.

    When you begin to see your child through a nervous system lens, your responses naturally shift. And when your responses shift, your child’s nervous system begins to feel safer.

    That is where real change begins.

  • No. A nervous system does not require a diagnosis to deserve support and understanding.

    Behaviour is communication, not a flaw. Whether your child has a diagnosis, is on a waiting list, or has none at all, we focus on what their nervous system is telling us and how to support it.

  • Most of the families I work with have. That does not mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve been working incredibly hard in systems that are often focused on compliance and behaviour management, rather than relational safety and nervous system regulation.

Understanding further

Feeling unsure

  • No. This is relational, neuroscience-informed parenting. It goes far deeper than behaviour or style. It is about how humans function under stress.

  • Absolutely not. Blame shuts nervous systems down. Compassion opens them up. This work is about understanding, not fault.

  • Of course you are!

    Parenting a child who is chronically dysregulated is a form of toxic stress. Without being alarmist, chronic toxic stress can also be a form of trauma. When we can start to grasp this, coupled with the very limited support there is available for families living this way, it gets easier to bring compassion to ourselves as we come to terms with our reality.

  • Then you are really welcome here.

    I get this. I know this. I understand the enormity of what you are carrying. This is not for the faint hearted.

    Parenting is often described as a path shaped by grief. When you are raising a child with a vulnerable nervous system and intense behaviours, that grief can deepen. When you are also working through your own complex or developmental trauma, raising a child while re-parenting yourself amid constant triggers and old survival responses, it can feel layered, confusing, and relentless.

    Some nervous systems carry deep terror and have lived in chronic protection mode because of ongoing stress and unmet needs. Living like this is exhausting.

    If some of this feels familiar, you deserve attunement, compassion, and the kind of steady support you may never have received.

    This work is not about regulating perfectly or healing before you parent well enough. It is about being met as you are, recognising that your nervous system is doing the best it can, and using neuroscience to remove blame and shame, so you do not have to carry this alone.

  • I am committed to making this work accessible to the families who need it.

    I offer a sliding scale of £50 to £80 for 60 minute sessions and invite you to pay what you can realistically afford. My standard fee is £80, with longer sessions available where needed. For couples, I recommend at least 75 minutes to allow enough space.

    Paying at the higher end helps make lower cost sessions possible for families experiencing financial strain. This is collective care in action and supports the sustainability of this work.

    I also hold a limited number of very low cost places for families who are marginalised, impacted by systemic disadvantage, or experiencing acute financial hardship.

    If this feels relevant to you, please reach out and we can have a respectful conversation about what is possible.

  • My standard cancellation policy is 24 hours’ notice.

    Sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours’ notice, or missed without notice, will be charged in full.

    That said, I understand the unpredictability of family life, especially in homes where nervous systems can tip quickly into survival mode. If something genuinely unavoidable arises, please let me know as soon as possible and we can talk it through.

    Where possible, I will always aim to respond with flexibility and care.

The practical stuff

Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviours

The Parent Course

You have tried so much already.

And when your child’s behaviour still feels confusing, extreme, or relentless, it can leave you questioning yourself, your instincts, and sometimes even your hope.

I am licensed to teach Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviours, a 12 module parenting course created by Robyn Gobbel and based on her best selling book.

This course moves beyond behaviour management. It helps you understand what is happening underneath the behaviour, in the nervous system, in the body, and in the relationship.

Across 12 modules, we explore:

• Why behaviour is communication, not character
• How a sensitised stress response system shapes your child’s reactions
• Practical tools to support regulation in the brain, body, and sensory system
• How to strengthen connection, even when behaviour pushes you away
• Why knowing what to do is not the same as being able to do it, and how to build your own capacity

This course is especially supportive for parents raising children with vulnerable nervous systems, including children impacted by trauma, neurodivergence, sensory differences, adoption or foster care, chronic stress, or complex family dynamics.

It is compassionate, science based, and deeply relational.

If you would like to be notified when the next course becomes available, you can register your interest below.

Register your interest here

Testimonials

“I just want to say thank you, Zena, for our sessions. They make such a difference to my well-being.

I always come away clearer about what’s happening for all of us, and my wife and children definitely reap the benefits.

You have been so patient in helping me understand the science, and in gently uncovering where my protests and fears about consequences and getting it wrong really come from. Over time, you’ve taken the shame out of that and helped me see that my children respond way better when I’m truly understanding them.

We still have a long way to go with the challenges my child faces, and so much remains uncertain. But I feel more hopeful and far more able to be there for him. I’m already seeing real change in his trust towards me.”

TW

 “I came to Zena initially for support with my child. As a therapist myself, I didn’t expect how much I would end up using the space for my own processing too.

She brings a clear nervous system understanding to the work, which has deepened how I understand both my child and myself.

But more than anything, she’s there. Fully there. She gets it. She doesn’t flinch at any part of me, even the parts I struggle with most. They’re met with humility and kindness.

It’s hard to put into words what that feels like when you’re sharing the most vulnerable, painful and overwhelming moments of your family life.”

SE

“I’ve struggled to find support for myself that also understands my child’s behaviours. It’s felt like I’ve had to work on my trauma in one space and my parenting in another.

Finding that together with Zena has been a huge relief. She understands both.

For the first time, I don’t feel so alone in it.”

CR

Lets Connect

Book a Free 20 Minute Call

You may be unsure, curious, quietly overwhelmed, or utterly desperate. However you are feeling, you are welcome to book a free 20 minute call.

Reaching out can feel like a leap. I understand that.

You do not need to have the right words. Just come as you are.

This is a gentle first step. A chance to connect, talk about what is going on, and see if it feels right, with no pressure to commit.

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